When is Enough Really Enough

Hello faithful readers and passers-by,

It's been a while since I graced your presence with a note worthy blog post. I'm extremely tired and probably slightly delusional as I write this. In fact, I do not even guarantee that it will make one concise thought plainly relevant. But I will muddle through with every best intention of spilling my brain on the keys in hopes that they will press correctly!

And I have no exact blog in mind. I've thought all day about what to write. I've blogged about other stuff on other blogs, but now, when I'm given the opportunity to write for fun, I'm too tired. And the cause for that tired, sluggish, liquid-brain feeling is Algebra... College Algebra to be exact.

I think back immediately to the first time I seen an algebraic equation. For some of you, it will seem very late in school. I was in the Sixth Grade at Southland C-9 in Cardwell. I had seen simple addition, subtraction, multiplication and, of course, long hand division. And I'd had my fair share of the dreaded reading problems. But when I seen 6 - n = 3, I felt a deep sense of satisfaction. I could do algebra, no problem! It looked easy and I didn't even have to think about it. I zipped through those problems like a knife slicing melted butter!

In high school, it was pretty much the same, for the most part. I would get a little confused every now and then, but all in all, I had it licked. And when I graduated, I was certain I had taken with me the most parts I would ever need. Boy, was I mistaken!

August 2008, I entered into college. I hadn't seen a math problem, aside from how many cups would I need to bake a specific recipe, but I didn't think I'd forgotten much. Math was like riding a bike, once you learn, you never forget, right? W-R-O-N-G!

I walked into Intro to Algebra (because I only scored high enough on the entrance exam to skip pre-algebra), and I immediately felt a huge lump in my throat. Thankfully, my professor could sense my fear and broke us into it rather gently. The end of the semester landed me an A on my transcript. And after the holidays, I would re-enter the class a grade up -- Intermediate Algebra.

thinking I had this licked, I didn't practice over the holidays and when classes started, it seemed like I had forgotten it all over again. Only this time, we didn't start out easy. We dove head first into the black abyss that is, Intermediate Algebra.

I managed a doggie-paddle maneuver that kept my head above water, but every now and then, a rip tide would grab me and pull me under... Scathing by with a B for my final grade and countless nights of terroristic dreams of x's and y's haunting me with a red ink pen and a devilish grin. Sure that I would never have to face an algebraic expression/equation/factor/polynomial/any-nomial ever again, I did not take any more math classes. Why? Because I had selected my degree based on how much MATH was required. Needless to say, I only cheated myself.

Because as I pen this blog post, I am faced with a folder full of COLLEGE ALGEBRA problems that are due Wednesday and I've not even finished one problem. Not because I'm lazy and don't care, but because I honestly do not know how to do it. I can't remember. The part of my brain that requires memorization of math rules has fallen into a coma and may never awaken. I've put my book on my head in hopes that scientific osmosis would occur with no avail. I've repeated the phrase, "I love math and math loves me" in the mirror and still can't say it with a ounce of honest faith. I have caressed my math book as a writer would caress his favorite type writer before beginning his next award winning novel and she has yet to respond to me. Lo, I feel as if I'm fighting a losing battle all the while, she mocks me -- taunts me with promises of A's only to end in a mental breakdown.

I can only hope that my ginko biloba will begin working and that the deep breathing exercises I am starting will help get some additional oxygen to that comatose part of my brain. And that my niece, whom I love dearly, can beat something into my thick skull over a plate of Labor Day food tomorrow! If not, well... there are no ifs. Either it will work, or it won't work, but I am hopeful!

On a positive note, however... As long as there is Algebra in schools, there will also be prayer! ~Cokie Roberts

Until tomorrow,
LaVonda