Remember Alex Brown

The following is a letter that I sent to the Brown Family in an email shortly after watching Extreme Make-over: Home Edition.  I pray that each and every person that reads this blog will take a moment to click the link and take the pledge. It could save your life... Feel free to pass it on!

Alex Brown

Hello Brown Family,
 
My name is LaVonda. I'm 31 years old. I'm a wife, a college student and a mother of four beautiful children.  With my hectic life, texting has always been a role in getting through my day.  From talking to my husband through texts to helping pass along missed assignments to my classmates, and nearly everything in between.  My husband is a few years older than me and has always been a little more worried than I was about texting and driving... Until I heard your story.

I can't begin to imagine how it must feel to lose your child in accident caused by texting. I realized when I watched Extreme Makeover, just how selfish I had been when I would text and drive. To think that a text message could deprive my husband of his wife, as well as my very own children of their mother; it was a 24/7 reality check. I've printed out the Pledge from ABC.com and I also signed it on your website. Mine will be on my dash of my vehicle for me to always look at when I start driving.  I pray that your story, that Alex's legacy will forever grow, that millions of cell phone users will appreciate the fact that you are trying to educate them, by validating their lives over a text message. I pray that the Lord will continue to wrap his arms around your family and that you will find the peace that Alex would want you to have...

Much love from Arkansas,
LaVonda Evans

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS: DO NOT TEXT AND DRIVE!

Until tomorrow... or when I can find the time,

LaVonda

The Reason Why

     Ever wonder why kids bring guns to school? I have... and I still do. But I know in my heart the children are not evil. They do not wish harm on anyone. No, it's not that they are misunderstood... No. They are likely to be bullied by others, not in the 'in' crowd and teased periodically, not just by other students, but by the teachers as well. I'm not saying this is a good excuse. I'm merely pointing out the facts.

     Take Columbine for instance. Those boys were definitely troubled. Parents seldom checked in on them and they were depressed boys. Makes me wonder what school must have been like for them.  Which brings me to tonight's post... short, sweet, and very much, to the POINT!

     Three of my children ride the school bus to and from school. Our youngest will start in August. The issue at hand: My oldest (Kasidy) and her younger brother (Kody) get off the bus, minus their brother (Kris) because of an after school activity. Enter: DRAMA

     My daughter proceeds to inform me that one particular girl on the bus (who's name will remain obsolete to this post or any post) has teased my daughter and two sons since school started back in August '10.  I've explained to the kids to just 'ignore her' -- be polite, but ignore her.  So far so good, right? Wrong. Over the past 5 months, my daughter and sons have explained that this girl (who is in Jr. High), along with her brother, has belittled, demeaned, rudely spoken, and trash-talked my children. In turn, they [my children] have explained to the bus driver, this girl and her brother's behavior (because, yes folks, bullying apparently runs in that family) to no avail. I've had enough!

     My daughter and son tell me today that this girl was trash-talking Kasidy and Kasidy was ignoring her. Good girl. Then this 'girl' proceeds to bring my 6 year old into the conversation asking him in so many words about 'touching' and 'kissing'... What the FUCK!  This 12 or 13 year old has no fucking business asking my son anything about that, or better than that, she has no right! So, once the flames retreated from my mouth and the smoke began to disipate from my ears, I dialed the school... Because that is what parents are suppose to do, rather than march up to the family's home and briefly take matters into my own hands... Right?

     Speaking with the secretary at the elementary school, she takes down a few pieces of info and tells me to contact the JR high school Principle because the abuser(s) is/are in JR high. Sure, not a problem.  I get, "Thank you for calling.... I'm currently away from my desk... yadda yadda"... I leave a very pleasant voicemail, courteously thanking him for his prompt attention to this matter and to return my call at his earliest convenience. Less than 3 minutes later, I get a call back -- Yes folks, they screen their calls!

     He begins to ask the same questions the previous call had requested. I inform him and then he asks me, "Was it reported to the bus driver?" I ask my daughter who says, "no mom. I was so upset the way she was talking to Kody, I didn't even think to tell. I just knew I had to get Kody off the bus as soon as I could." Understandable! Right? Not in his eyes. "Well, Mrs. Evans, I am sure you can understand my position. Without this incident being reported to the driver, I can not really advance in the matter. I can advise the driver to place your children in assigned seating as far from the student as possible."  Well, that is a start.

     What is a parent to do? I'll tell you. I will be on the bus in the morning, speaking to our driver, (who is a great woman, BTW), and inform her of my conversation with the principle and to let her know that I've instructed my children to tell her whenever either of the abusers are acting out of order with my children. So, when she gets tired of my kids telling on them, and chooses to do nothing, and my children  backlash towards this girl and her brother, I will be very proud. Because a good ole fist fight is how they done it in the old days... Not guns and knives and the sort. But, should a fight occur, I will be all to happy to home school my children! Oh, and write a letter everyday to the paper and the school board, letting them know just how well their "Zero Tolerance on Bullying" works!

Until tomorrow,
LaVonda

Why not?!?

     You all know I am a mom. Four kids, 3 boys and 1girl (the oldest)... I see her everyday, growing right in front of me. Smiling, feeling pain when her feelings get hurt and showing me each and every moment, just how beautiful, smart and loving she is. So why the fuck are we, society, not showing these girls how beautiful they are? How perfect they are? Instead, we are letting fashion magazines, movies, and computer programs show them. And the end result is a fuckin lot of girls (pre-teen to 18) who are arrogant, spoiled, narcissistic, self-destructive, addicted (from material things to drugs), self-centered, self-righteous females who are illiterate, immature and irresponsible.

     I watched something tonight that showed me I am on the right track. I validate my children every opportunity I can, especially my daughter. For one, the world is a cruel, heartless place that will devour a female in a matter of minutes and secondly, I don't want her to go through what hundreds of thousands of girls go through. Watch the video and you will understand. Don't judge it... just get the message it's sending... And if it doesn't tug at your heartstrings, you shouldn't be breathing!

Until tomorrow,
LaVonda

The Humor in Government Taxes

     We all know about how taxes work, right? The government gets a little each payday, and we get a little back at the end of the year.  Well, let me rephrase that... some people get a little back at the end of the year. For others, they fall under the right bracket and have to pay in. And then there are those select few who fail to pay in and get in big trouble. So where's the humor?

    Take our family for instance. Because of school and limited on the time I had, I only earned a whopping six grand last year. But I do not fear the lowly Tax service because I know I'll get some back. I'm, needless to say, EAGER to file my taxes. Broke, and wanting to file taxes? WTF?!?  Now, on the flip side.  Fat-walleted CEO's and V.P.'s of the industry, marketing geniuses and the like, are so secure in their financial world, they dread filing taxes. Why? Because they made too much and are getting socked in the wallet.  They have everything they could possibly want for, with the exception of a world where taxes aren't collected. The greed that has corrupted their lives require them to hoard their earnings, savings, and the lot, to make even more. I'm ok with making more... but not at the cost of making other's suffer.

     Those same people who are dreading paying taxes are the same people who do not want government health care, social security policies re-vamped, or public school funding. No, those people would rather the poor just die off the face of the earth than to spread a little wealth for those less fortunate. And before you bash, many people, many poor people would give the shirt off their back if it meant keeping someone warm... The rich or well off people would rather you just go shirtless, freeze to death and end up in some pine box six feet below the earth's surface. No, that is too costly, just burn them and be done with it.  Their "I am better than thou" attitude has cast a shadow across the Nation and caused a deep sense of hatred and anger towards everyone in the industry, from the manufacturers of medication to the manufacturers of toilet paper... Why toilet paper? Because the rolls say double, but they aren't really. The rolls are shorter in width and the cardboard roll is bigger in radius. Don't believe me, go buy two different brands of tp. Guarantee you it is different in the length of the cardboard as well as the radius. (I'm a frugal mother who notices when tp doesn't last as long as it used to).

     One of my friends is making her own laundry detergent and paying roughly 8 cents a load vs. buying commercial products.  I'm going to do that, too! And the fact that fabric softener sheets can be reused (1 sheet for 2 loads or cut your sheet in half) to save a lil more. And you're not done with it even then. Used dryer sheets work great for removing soap scum off your shower doors.  Running the dishwasher one time a day or even not using it at all.  We folks know the value of a dollar and cherish each and every penny in it... Tax haters only hate it because they can't keep it for themselves to spend on frivolous items they use to increase their social status. Bah to those who hoard money and bah to those who want the poor to die out. And yay to the IRS... Sock it to them. Because one day, I will be making the big bucks and I will be ever so happy to pay my share.

Until tomorrow,
LaVonda

High Cost of Living

"The high cost of living ain't nothin like the cost of livin high..."  These lyric ring true time and time again.  Coming from a family of drug abuse, stemming from simple alcohol addiction to hardcore drugs like meth, cocaine, and prescription narcotics, I've seen first hand how destructive drugs can be. And by the grace of God, I was able to resist the peer pressures of using and had just enough common sense not to fall for the lies that brew when one is under the influence. My mother and brother were not so fortunate.  Thankfully though, my mother will celebrate one year of complete sobriety next month. So it is in her honor that I blog this post in hopes of opening even just one eye, one mind, and one conscience to the fact that times aren't like they used to be.  They are ever changing and ever evolving and when desperate times call for desperate measures, an addict will do whatever it takes to get their next fix. Here's a video of the many faces of Meth.
And the ones that meth truly hurts. And these.

I remember growing up in little 'ol Cardwell, Mo. Population then, 797 (mostly older folks and pets... kids were scattered here and there from Arbyrd, to Hollywood, to Silverdale and back again). But, I had wonderful friends who didn't dare partake in the things that were available. Don't get me wrong, Cardwell had its fair share of pot smokers and drinkers, and while I like to think I'm a saint, I'm not. Alcohol as a minor was as risky as it got and Grandma got me good for it when I got home.  That was the extent of it. Crystal Meth wasn't real well known and people were more concerned with whether or not the Cotton Festival would get rained out or if Mr. McMinn would be wearing those tight fittin jeans in Science class... Major issues for us girls... The guys worried about baseball try-outs, basketball championships and where the next bonfire would be.  No talk of Meth or pills or other hard drugs.

Fast forward 15 years and you see it everywhere you look.  People in line at the grocery store, their kids with no clothes in the winter and filthy, because their parents would rather smoke it up than buy some soap and take care of their responsibilities... I'm not talking about 40-50 year old parents; I'm talking about 16,17 and 18 year olds who have missing teeth, scabs on their face and a particular body odor that lingers long after they have left the cashier line.  Look on the street corner on any given day and you see the society that we live in today. Pants sagging, hats are worn side-ways, loud music, no manners, shoplifting, truancy, disrespecting authority figures, and failing to care for themselves. But it doesn't stop there. Meth and every other known narcotic out there as taken it's toll on the higher ups of our society. How can we stand by and let this continue to happen.  Our government officials go to work everyday, battling out the latest trend on the Hill and arguing over which Rep or Sen member will get a little more padding in the wallet, while the people they are their to serve (and yes, they are there to serve us, not give us headlines in the morning paper) are literally wasting away. 

Many of you have seen the news reports coming out about Bath Salts.  No, their not taking baths, cleaning their flesh or removing dirt and debris... They are snorting bath salts because the effects produced are something akin to cocaine. My question and I'm sure it is yours as well: What in the hell are these kids thinking?  My next questions goes a little deeper. What could be so horrible, so tragic, so morbid, that these kids feel the need to escape through drugs?  Has society changed that much in 15 years?


Vanilla Sky, Ivory Wave, BlowOut and
Snow Blow are just a few of the names 
in which these products are being sold

These kids are opening up packages of Bath Salts and snorting them through a tube constructed from rolled bills to cut down ink pen casings: because their lives are so miserable?!? And we are letting them do it. Don't shake your head, you are just as guilty as I am for letting this happen! Yes, you are! Because, rather than be a role model, lending a helping hand, being a positive influence or even offering an 'atta boy, we turn our heads, too busy with our i-pads, i-pods, and i-phones (no offense to apple, but the analogy is really good)... What do these have in common? "I". Simply stated, this country has become full of narcissistic people only looking out for #1 and piss on everyone else. Shame, shame to each and every adult who has witnessed something, ANYTHING involving a child and didn't bother to even acknowledge what you had seen.

The following links are to some recent news stories with more information on the Bath Salts epidemic. Please read them. You don't have to do it right now... but take a little time, pause your movie, turn your phone on silent for a few minutes... It could mean the difference between life and death.

http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/011411-legal-%E2%80%98bath-salts%E2%80%99-drug-alarms-doctors
http://www.the33tv.com/news/kdaf-bath-salts-drug-fake-meth-story,0,6081438.story
http://consumerist.com/2011/01/drug-masquerading-as-bath-salts-banned-in-louisiana-1.html
http://www.kpho.com/news/26523159/detail.html
http://www.newsoxy.com/health/synthetic-cocaine-sold-as-bath-salts-16790.html

And here is the link for Big Brothers Big Sister of North Central Arkansas.
http://www.bbbsnca.com/

Don't be afraid to talk to your kids, nieces, nephews, neighbors, whoever! Just let them know that drugs aren't cool, they don't make you popular and they are never the answer... And for God Sakes! Parents, check up on your kids. They'll hate you for it, but you'd hate yourself if you found out they were doing drugs when you could have prevented it.  Be a parent, not a friend. Be a strong support system for them, show them you truely do care for their well-being, and dammit, don't give up! 

And if you want to get involved... I can't think of a better way than this!

Until tomorrow,
LaVonda

Side Bar

     This post is for my biological dad.  I know he doesn't follow my blog and I doubt my step mom does either. No, they are too tied up with raising my drug addicted step-sisters 6th child (because her ex-husband has the first four and one is in heaven), tending to her anti-social, narcissistic son who is so irresponsible and lazy that he refuses to apply for disability, even though he is LEGALLY BLIND! Oh, and caring for my step-moms alcoholic sister.   I can say props to them for acknowledging that my niece needed to be brought up in a safe and secure environment and I wish my niece nothing but the best.  However, my niece is 1 and a half... My step sister is 32, my step brother is 29 and my step-mom's sister is in her 40's... So there are some enabling issues there. I refuse to visit, simply because I do not want to be dragged into her delusional world that they are 'sick and need help'. It's true, they are sick, but she is doing anything but helping them. And I love them all, their delusions, their addictions and their behaviors, because that is what family offers: unconditional love. But the sad fact is, once again, DAD, you have forgotten your first family... Your one and only biological child who has feelings, emotions, and is starved to have you in her life.  I'm not asking you to forget about your new family, but remember the one you had.


     No, I don't ask for money or things that most girls ask from their dad.  I only asks that you show care for my decisions and show pride when I do a good job. You missed out on my life, you missed out on my high school years and my graduation, you missed out on a lot of things; you missed out on my first college graduation! Here's your chance to redeem yourself... I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it for me. Because I couldn't live with the fact that I didn't invite you... You, however, must live with the fact that you chose not to attend. Do you want to see me walk across the stage with my degree in my hand? Prove that you care enough to show up!  I dare you!  You won't get another chance. If you choose to not show up, then I choose to cut my losses and to not associate with you in the future.    I love you, daddy...

Later!

Decisions, Decisions

     When I first went back to college (8/08), I knew what I wanted. An AAS in Criminal Justice. Those two years flew by extremely fast and I feel that I learned everything I needed to know in order to enter the work force. However, what I did not prepare for was the fact that most positions in my area require a bachelors for entry level positions. Sooooo, yeah! Bummer, eh?

     But me, being the overly optimistic person that I am, decided that was not going to keep me down. I have decided to go back. Even if that means starting over from the very beginning, I will get my Bachelors Degree in Criminology.  Then, look out world! I will not set behind everyone else. My intentions are clear: to do the most with my life as I possibly can and to never settle for "OK" again! No, I will settle for nothing less than the best I can possibly do!

     Why did I go to college in the first place?  Well, for a number of reasons. I do what I say. I said I wanted a 2-year degree and I got it. I said I wanted to Graduate College before I was 32 and I did, (with one year to spare). I wanted to do it for my Grandmother, who raised me to always do my best. Granted, I didn't do it in the order she'd have liked, but I did it! I wanted to do it for my family; the ones who are always there for me in anything I decide. I wanted to do it so I could say, "hey, I done it!"

     And here I am, goals completed and working toward another.  Whether it takes me 2 years or a whole 4 more, I will accomplish this goal. Because that is the challenge. Moving out of my comfort zone of what I KNOW I can do to what I DON'T KNOW if I can do, but I'm damn sure gonna give it all I've got! I deserve no less than that!

     Until Tomorrow,
     LaVonda  
    

Enough is Enough

Please watch the video before you read the blog...
No peeking!
Mia <<<---- Go on, click it!


Let that digest for just a moment!

*sigh* *deep breath*... RANT!!!!!

Being a mom, I am all about telling your daughter how beautiful she is, inside and out! From her beautiful hair to her sparkling personality.  Being validated at home will cause less worry (for the parents) when she is older, ensuring that she does not NEED a guy to tell her she's beautiful, because she will already know it!

Every girl, at one point in time, wants to be a princess, a model or a superstar, with the spotlight on them.  And that is fine, as long as it is for a purpose that should generally benefit the child, i.e. college, positive career role, etc.

But when is enough, enough?  When a child is forced to wear an article of clothing that only a rockstar would wear? (No offense, Madonna... What works for you, does not work for me)!  Parents who support the pageant industry have gone completely crazy! From buying false teeth for their 6 year old who lost a tooth over the summer: Here's a Pic. You can google "Flipper for Pageants" for more info.

I will admit, the children who are entered into pageants are absolutely breathtaking! Just look at this one!  So, I'll ask again... When is enough, enough?  Parents have gone from entering their child in these pageants to living vicariously through them. And the saddest part... the kids are suffering from it. Not just at a toddlers age, but on up in years.  Parents are causing their children to believe that beauty will get you everywhere in life... Not so for this contestant. I feel sorry for her. While she is beautiful, in my mind, I imagine her life was handed to her on a silver platter. She never 'wanted' for anything and obviously banked on her looks earning her an income. Sadly, parents, this isn't true. It's a blessing to have looks, it's a right to be intelligent and it's sheer stupidity to forego said intelligence for extra looks...

Now, back to the first video you watched.  What was your take on it?  Humorous? Vanity? Exploitation? BREEDING GROUND FOR PEDOPHILES???  Remember her?  Sure, many of you will.  But what about the new moms who are raising daughters and flaunting them about on stage, in skimpy costumes to erotic music (and making them shake their hips)... Heaven forbid anything happen, but do you honestly think they will be shaking their hips if they were to be abducted? (I seriously do not want anything to happen to ANY child, that is why this blog is what it is... To educate and make you think outside the box).

One website said, and I'm paraphrasing here, that, "pageants give little girls the chance to play Cinderella."  That's fine... To defend the con's of pageants, "What they are learning basically is that they have one characteristic which is of total primary importance, and that is their body and their attractiveness" ... "baby swans often become ugly adolescent ducklings, a development that could usher in a host of emotional problems in young adulthood."  Source: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=126315&page=1 <--- It's an interesting story, you should read it sometime.

The whole truth is: Parents are instilling in their children positive and negative experiences by the truck load, with no opportunity to further explain them.  No opportunity for the child to ask why?  Not even an opportunity for the kids to say, "No, mom. I don't want to do this?" But why would they? Getting every bit of attention, fancy clothes and the right to throw a fit on stage if their parents made them mad. This little Beauty Queen knows how to do it.  And, no, I don't think I would give it up either... If it weren't for the fact that my grandmother raised me acknowledging that I am beautiful, with morals, a bit of common sense, and the ability to know when enough is enough! *Love you, Grandma!*

Until Tomorrow,
LaVonda

A Little Eye Candy, Anyone?

     "You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear."  But how do you know it's love?  What sets them apart from any other male or female?  What did they do to you to make the others become invisible?  Could it be... attraction?

     This topic comes from my sister, who is, it must be said, the flirtiest girl I know. And I love that! She is most often cheerful, but at times can really display the, "I've told you once, I am not going to tell you again" attitude, which, as any mom knows, can really mean the difference between lunacy and sanity.  So it is in her honor that this blog post is what it is. A look at the aspects of attraction and the ways in which "eye candy" gets better tasting as the years go by!

     So what is attraction? Is it the clothes the guy is wearing... or for the girl, the lack thereof? To answer this question, you have to realize that men and women are on two separate planes. Women notice the breadth of a mans shoulders. His swagger when he walks. How he overall carries himself.  A guy looks at a woman and sees, well, tits and ass. It isn't, in my opinion, until 6 months after the relationship that he acknowledges the color of her eyes, her power as a woman, or the fact that she has thick eyelashes. No, it's not easy being a man I suppose, with the stereotypes just mentioned, and I'm sure I'll get blasted by several followers, but, I call it like I see it.
  
     Women on the other hand, are secretive. They do not blatantly eyeball a guy to see his appearance.  We are covert when getting a little eye candy. Now, I'm not saying all women are that good. I've seen some women rubber-neckin at men more than a driver will at a traffic accident, BUT, many women, myself included, appreciate a tall, clean cut man who dresses with a little sophistication and maintains a confident attitude. (Authors note: Confident means you are pretty sure you can, cocky means you say you can, and can't)!

     So where does the actual attraction come from? Is it the woman's libido saying, "Dear God, take me now?" Or is the man's libido saying, "Gimme 3 minutes, maybe even 4?"  I believe it is a mutual relationship between the sexes.  A person is a physical being, full of electrical currents, interwoven with hormones and the NEED to be physical.  The ability to salivate over one good looking being is just a plus to the entire spectrum.

     And, lastly, we have ears... And those ears love to be tickled with flirty words and nuances of sexual desire and lust.  When a female hears a cat call, it's blasphemy to every fiber of her being! But when subtle remarks are made that hinge on flattery and desire, with a dash of embarrassment, the tables turn to worship! A woman can be anything she wants to be... Being flirted with, raising her blood pressure a little and truly enjoying the idea of "What if", because that is what it boils down to.  She knows she shouldn't, but "what if" she could...

     I've said for several years now that flirting is done on a sliding scale. If the woman is single, men are hardly interested -- low end of the scale.  If she is in a relationship but not married, it's about 50/50 on the flirt level. But if a woman is married, that is when it gets really interesting. It's not a matter of merely saying hi and winking... It's a matter of making her crave you. Making her beg for you.  Breaking her down, a piece at a time, until she gives in. Attraction is like a drug. And once a guy begins flirting with you, you become addicted, always wanting more. Another text, another call, another chance meeting...

     So, what have we learned today?
1.) Men oogle women on an obvious level -- women are ninjas in the eye candy department.
2.) Men are the players -- women are the professionals.
3.) Men will relish in the fact they are not committed -- women are committed, and while they are not easy, they can be had if they choose.
4.) A Man will respect a woman -- if a woman respects herself.
5.) Attraction is one of the inner mysteries of life -- a drug that has consumed both males and females alike, and will continue to do so...  until chocolate wins! :)

In conclusion, Attraction is like drinking salt-water: You drink, and thirst for more!
Until tomorrow,
LaVonda
 

Easy as 1..2..WTF!?!

     With all the chaos sure to follow any mom on a daily an hourly basis, sparing a little time for yourself is very important. But sometimes we mom's get put on the back burner because we want to make our families happy. Not that seeing our families happy doesn't make US happy, but a little 'me' time is often disregarded for soccer, church activities, dinner, laundry, and the list goes on and on.  What's more, men! I mean no disrespect because I wouldn't trade my wonderful husband for all the gold in the world (and it's peaked on trading highs right now! lol)... Sometimes, men can be more demanding than a room full of children!

     So what is a mom to do? Well, first, PRIORITIZE! Make a list of the things that you know must must MUST be completed and set a time limit. Don't put, "clean the house" -- it's too broad a task. Instead, break it down into smaller, easier to complete tasks, like, "Load the dishwasher, fold the laundry, vacuum the living room, vacuum the bedrooms, etc etc. This way, you can look at your list more often, mark off tasks more often and feel like you are truly accomplishing your tasks, which in turn gives you that moral boost to keep going.  And when you realize that the 30 minutes you allotted for folding that one basket of laundry only takes 10... You've got 20 minutes of me time to take a short walk, turn up the radio for a few minutes or even, *brace yourself* ---- take a shower!  Little time allowances like that is how I fit my me time in -- it's a true lifesaver.

     The second thing I've found that really helps is a dry erase board, bulletin board or even a white poster board.  If you use a dry erase board or bulletin board, it's easier, but I've managed with a poster board numerous times when chaos decided to stick it's crazy head in my door and hang around for a while. The purpose? To help you stay somewhat organized on tasks with the kids, dinners, activities, family time, Dinner date with hubby, etc.  You can use post-its for easy maneuvering of tasks, or color code with push pins or magnets. You can customize it for chores for the kids, messages that you need to remember (just remember to put it high enough that no toddlers will make wonderful art with your important message... yes, Kanon, I remember!). 

     Third thing that is a true lifesaver.. The slow cooker! For when you need to get dinner going but you have so many other things creeping up on your dinner hour. Put your meal in the slow cooker, go about your day, and when you think you're about to go crazy, you can relax knowing that dinner is done!

     There are many more ways to establish a little order and routine in your day. The number one thief of time is procrastination. I have committed time suicide on more than one occasion, but I have figured out that if I don't give it to him, he can't take it from me. So, start out small. Baby steps to getting your life in order.

Helpful hints...
1.) assign chores to children and enforce them.  8 and up can wash the dishes fairly well after a little lesson in it. 5 and up can clean a bedroom and 'tidy' their beds. After all, it's mostly toys and they end up in the toy box when you clean it, too!
2.) a five year old will look at the vacuum cleaner with eyes bright and joy in their step... How dare us mom's rob them of that joy. (Plus it keeps them busy while you do something else, so what if it isn't perfect vacuuming!)
3) make time for your kids at least one night a week to let them help you cook.  Kids love to help and they can truly make meal time seem less of a task and more of a joy.
4.) Men have hands and feet and fingers... and Thumbs. This means they can do anything mom's can do when it comes to house work.  If there is laundry to be washed, dried or folded, dishes to be washed, hamburger meat to be cooked or tea to be made, I am almost certain that unless they are blind, they can do this. My husbands back is BROKEN, and he manages to surprise me every day with doing a household chore. And for that, I love him even more!

5.) Realize your limits. You can't do everything in one day, no matter how hard you try. Prioritizing your list is a sure way that the important stuff gets done, the mild stuff can, and the mediocre stuff can fall as a top priority tomorrow. Keep a tablet of paper nearby for when you remember something that needs to be done or if something didn't get done today, you can write it down. This does two things. A.) You can begin prioritizing for tomorrow and B.) You won't forget it!  It's not procrastination if you ran out of time, it's procrastination if you filled that time with something else.

6.) Put your phone on silence while you are working, turn the computer speakers down and the monitor off and don't think about what you have to do tomorrow... Think about today, the task at hand and how much better YOU will feel when it's done.  Encourage yourself. If there is something you really want to do (cause it's so much more fun), finish what you're doing before you partake in the fun stuff. Work hard, play harder!

I know these will seem petty to some, but for me, they are my living, breathing, religious rules that I follow. It's my daily dose! A house, a husband and 4 kids... and we are doing alright!

Until tomorrow,

LaVonda

The Dilemma

     I want to go back to school!  I miss the classes, the atmosphere, the friends, the colleagues... And I miss getting to fill my brain with information, with other opinions. I want to see the world from that view again. I have not been out a full month and I miss it. See the dilemma?

     The dilemma: Family! I love my family with every fiber of my being.  I want only what is best for them.  But how can I give them what is best, if I refuse to do my best to get there.  Having a BA is not a big deal for some people. For me, it could mean the difference between 25,000 a year and 250,000 a year... See the dilemma?!?

     In my neck of the woods (yes, I'm a hick, but I can be professional when its called for), there is not a large need for Crim J grads with an AAS... so I either hack it out at Wal-mart making minimum wage, forcing myself to smile when I would be sooo not happy there, or... Go back to school -- a new school -- a BIG school (compared to my wonderfully size, perfect-for-LaVonda- Black River)... A true university where thousands of people shuffle through their day, hoping to learn something and apply it in the work force. See the Dilemma?!?

     Now, I type this blog in the hopes that ANYONE who reads it will post a comment giving me your truthful, honest, may the lord strike you dead if you lie, opinion. Because I cannot truly make a good decision as I am a biased person who misses the commraderie of it all -- I can't see the forest for the trees!  Please, leave a comment, a check in the box or something letting me know what you think... Your thoughts matter to me and true friends help out those in need! And it's not like I'm asking for your money... just your thoughts!

     I've vented, I feel better!

     Until tomorrow,
     LaVonda

"So mom, whatcha gonna do now?"

     Many of you know I recently graduated college -- AAS in Criminal Justice.  Today my son asked me, "So mom, whatcha gonna do now"?  What a loaded question. I have often wondered what I wanted to be when I grew up and for the life of me, I am still not 100% certain. But he knows where my heart is: Police Officer or Criminal Investigator.  My passion is trying to figure out how something happened, who done it, and of course, why they done it.

     If I chose police work... the obvious issue would be physical health. I am a little on the fluffy side and if you read my very first post, you would also know that I am under tall! :)  This diet/get healthy venture I am on would not only contribute to my well-being, but also benefit me in the line of police work. Not to mention the fact that it would certainly save my life if I could (if the need arose) out run the fleeing perp!

     As for Criminal Investigator... ahhhh.  My most beloved field of all.  Getting into the guts of the crime. Seeing first hand how evil a person can be, how sad a loss can be and how heinous a criminal can be. And then putting together the pieces of the puzzle and having enough true and honest evidence to hand to the prosecution to ensure that the victim gets justice and the criminal gets punished.  Being the one who pieces it all together. Yep, that's my soft spot.

     So, the answer to my sons question was prevalent... "I want to be a problem solver. I want to be given a set of circumstances and piece it all together for the greater good of mankind."  He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "so...." I laughed. I couldn't help it.  I try to instill in my children they can be whatever they want to be when they grow up.  I think I explained to him how hard it is to decide. In any event, it was a dose of reality for me.  And I have a little time to figure it out. But either way, remember my name... You'll see it in the papers for a good deed done soon enough.

Until Tomorrow,
LaVonda

Vampires... EVERYWHERE

     Everywhere you look, you see them. Not real vampires, of course, but the lot of fashionable, trendy, paper back and hard back books dealing in the vast realm of vampirism.  From werewolves to finishing schools, to complete towns with humans being none the wiser of their biting counterparts.  And I am in heaven!  Not literally, I'm sure I would go up in a cloud of smoke if vampires were to enter into the pearly gates! But to get lost in the books is something I do love and can't be more impressed with the selections available.

     I read Twilight (4 times), New Moon (4 times), Eclipse (4 times) and Breaking Dawn (4 times)... Now what? Well, my dear vampire feines, prepare to be amazed. I stumbled upon a selection of books at the library Thursday and I can honestly say, I haven't put them down until just moments ago, and that was because I finished them... both! The Morganville Vampires Series is a must read for any twilight fan. No, they don't sparkle, and you won't confuse them with Romeo and Juliet... But if you like a little action, a little romance... and some lunacy endeavors on part of the female lead, you will certainly love these books.

     I am particularly fond of the writer's way in which she makes the events seem real. You can truly picture the characters.  The situations in which the find themselves, and that little room, hidden to all, and definitely one you'd want to be locked in with Shane or Michael...

     Do yourself a favor and read the first book, Glass Houses, and follow it up with The Dead Girls Dance... I promise, you won't be disappointed! I had a taste, I had a full glass... Now I want it all! Yeah, that's how we vamp girls roll! Gotta get my next dose, quick!

Until tomorrow,
LaVonda

The Reality of War

     Being a Criminal Justice major, I've heard of military training, PT (Physical Training) and the horror stories that accompany the strong-willed individuals that enlist. Several of my professors and classmates have served in a branch of the military and I became all-ears when they would tell their stories.  My husband, loving as he is, became the listening ears for those stories when I would tell him about my day.  Watching with him,"Two Weeks in Hell", a special ops training show on the discovery channel, he realized that PT is a strong part of preparing for war.  From running to jumping to lifting your body weight, PT weeds out the men from the boys. I see a technique that separates a man from his ego. My husband see a ridiculous way of humiliating men and women. He believes that training should prepare you, not break you. I agree, to an extent.

     In the show, these men were rolling over logs, running, jumping, lifting, etc.  Several men began vomiting. My husbands reaction was more than I expected. He became a little agitated that the drill sergeants were yelling, humiliating, demeaning, and ultimately chastising these men and women who signed up for the services.  I see a way of building a true group of men and women who put aside the mere thought of exhaustion, working through the pain, to reach a goal and a status. My husband sees the devil in the drill sergeants and believes it is useless to do such measures.

     The outcome is a strong, united, "You're no better than I am" group of individuals ready to die for their country.  Perhaps it isn't a war against a country, but a war against your body.  Reaching past the breaking point and refusing to accept defeat. A war against giving up, a war against mentality, a war against your very own ego, and a war against physics.  Maybe the true war is between your body and your mind, with you caught in the very middle, trying to make a truce.  Training your body to be prepared is one thing, breaking your ability is another... But can you truly be prepared if you don't know your breaking point?

     Until tomorrow,
     LaVonda

Ask a silly question...

     The old adage "ask a silly question, get a silly answer" has rung true more times than I care to remember. Today, it poked it's quirky head up and smiled at me once again.  Being a mother of four, I've come to learn that you never know what a child will say. Being the mother of one girl (the oldest, thank goodness) and three boys, I've learned a lot in my nearly 13 years of being a parent. Today, my middle son made me laugh tears of joy and pleasure. Joy in seeing him happy and pleasure in witnessing his happiness.

     Kody, my 6 year old, has become fond of a classmate named Erica. She is a very pretty and sweet little girl and I've spoke on the phone to her mother occasionally. My son came home yesterday from school rather upset. Curious, I asked him what was bothering him. He said, "Erica got mad at me for talking to another girl at school and said she was breaking up with me."  *Sigh* How in the world do little boys like little girls at that age... When I was kindergarten, boys had cooties and the hardest decision I had to make was which crayon to choose and what I was going to play on first at recess.  Concerned about how our youth are growing up so fast, I listened on to his very dramatic portrayal of the day.

     Trying not to smile at his little story, I asked him what else happened. He said that Erica didn't want him talking to this other girl because she was HIS girl. Needless to say, the smile crept up and he was even more heartbroken. In my feeble attempt to ease his worries, (and secretly trying to have him do something that was sure to scare this little girl off for the sake of motherhood) I told him to do the following. "Walk up to her tomorrow and say, "Erica, you know your my girl. But I have other friends to."  He looked at me cautiously, thinking about the words I said.  I counted the seconds as they slowly passed thinking to myself, my son will not say this, he is too shy... WRONG!

     He smiled, almost giddy with laughter and said, "Thanks mom, you're the best"!  Was I?

     Today he comes home from school, and I was sweating bullets.  It would play out one of two ways... And I feared the worst.  He walked through the door and looked at me, all red cheeked from the winter cold and smiled. After the usual after-school routine with homework, snack and reading, I broke down and asked him, "Son, how did it go with Erica today?" <--- See that silly question?!?  He looked at me, smiled once more and said, "Good."  Well, me being the overly protective, nosey body that I am (because a good mom knows everything going on) I asked him to tell me about it...

     "Well, mom. I said, Erica, you know your my girl.  And she said, I love you babe"... ***GASP***  WTF?!?

     I know it's only a child's behavior to have a girl-friend who isn't really a "GIRLFRIEND"... and it would be completely silly of me to think anymore than what it really is.  I know this particular blog will not appeal to many, but for me, it was my own daily dose! And I wouldn't trade it for the world!

     Until tomorrow,
     LaVonda

If Dreams Came True...

     One can say it's beyond mere fascination... my husband certainly does.  Now I believe it.  I fell curiously in love with the Twilight Saga during my first year in college.  At first, I was skeptical.  Hearing 9 other girls in English II talk about a Romeo and Juliet version of Interview with a Vampire increased the level of skepticism. There was no way I was going to fall for it.  I'm more of a Carpathian Vampire fan and Christine Feehan can certainly produce some of the most charismatic works that I have ever read.  During the Holiday break in 2008, I thought, OK, I'll give it a try (only because I had ran out of Feehan books and didn't want to drive in the snow to get some more).  Opening to the first page of the book, lent to me by a dear friend, Aimee, I took a deep breath... ... ... And fell! I've heard of people getting lost in books but I never thought that would happen to me. I can't explain it. I can only surmise it to imagining your house, heaven forbid, to catch fire. That one favorite book that you would risk your life to save because the characters are family and you would do anything to protect them.

     Fast forward 3 years...

     The addiction to The Twilight Saga continues to grow.  In the collection, all four books, paper back copies, have a designated spot on the bookshelf (No dog-eared pages, no bending the spines or leaving the book laying open).  The movies (Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse) can only be touched by me when putting them in the DVD player or removing them. The series of board games based on the films are enjoyed by the whole family (and I should feel complete remorse for always winning... but I don't).  And the passion for the stories are seen in my children. My 4 year old can answer the questions from the games, my 6 year old secretly wants to be a werewolf, my 9 year old is reading the last book, and my 12 year old battles with me about the questions in the game.  I have read each book 3 times, Breaking Dawn 5 times. Great family time and I wouldn't trade it for anything! And hubby secretly thinks of Bella, I just know it!

    While enjoying my peaceful slumber last night, I woke up after one amazing dream! No, it wasn't X-rated, and it wasn't one of those dreams where you think it was a dream, but your just not sure. It was one of those dreams that when you wake up, you rub your eyes, upset that you woke up, but so happy that you experienced the dream... a dream it was!

     Outside my house, beside the car-port was a road, it was warm, but not hot outside. The sun was either just rising or just setting and it was very quiet.  My daughter and I were under the carport talking. I turned to go back inside.  Halfway up the steps and in the door, my daughter says, "Mom"? I turn to look at her and she points haphazardly near the road.  I lean slightly out the door to see what she sees only to be taken completely by surprise.  A tour bus... some kind of liner I could not recognize was pulling up right beside our house, literally less than 4 feet.  I looked up at the windows to see, not one, not 2, but all of the Cullen clan and the Quileute clan inside the bus. In my dream, I remember jumping up and down, shaking with excitement, and couldn't say a word... no scream, but the quirky, "OMG OMG OMG" escaped my lips more than once.  It was as if they were suppose to be there.  They exited the bus and gave me hugs like you get from close friends you haven't seen in a while, but missed something awful! They were filming Breaking Dawn just 2 streets over from my house. Jacob talked the most, talking about his bike and his car.  Edward mentioned filming and how it was going well. Esme gave me a big hug.  Carlisle asked how we were feeling and Emmett shot some hoops while we talked.

     Enter: Annoying alarm clock buzzing to ruin such a wonderful dream!

     I know it is silly, perhaps even crazy to enjoy such a ludicrous dream.  But when you only live once, dreaming a little dream isn't really so bad. I hope you all dream... and dream BIG! Enjoy those little pleasures in life that others may think are petty and immature.  When we were growing up, we were told to dream... who says we have to stop growing up!  Dreams are a great way to get your dose!

Until Tomorrow,
LaVonda

PS - My collection of music at the bottom of the page exists because of the magnificent work of Carter Burwell -- Original Score composer for Twilight.  Alexandre Desplat for New Moon and Howard Shore for Eclipse.  Breaking Dawn is yet to be announced but the first part will hit theatres this November! You know where I'll be! :P

Technology Tantrum

     Everywhere I look, I see grown men and women taking advantage of today's technology, myself included. From cell phones to i-Pads to the very computer I post this blog with, and now the dawning of a new chaos: The Phone Frenzy!  Today I paid bills. No, I don't damage trees with paper billing and I'm tired of being a recluse in my home (Facebook addict, remember?), so my husband and I chose to venture outdoors today to give the piper his due.  Expecting to be greeted when I entered the businesses, (I am giving them money, the least they could do is acknowledge me, right?), I am faced with those who suffer from Bluetooth-itis. (Blue-tooth: n. Exterior device worn on the ear to make crazy people who talk to themselves fool others by making them THINK they are talking to someone real!) :) 

     You think I'm kidding but the sad fact: I am not.  On two separate occasions today, when entering the facilities of said pipers', a woman at one and a male at the other, were both carrying on complete conversations with no phone in sight, no eye contact to confirm they know I'm there or anything. Now, the old LaVonda would have merely paused, not giving them any information until they disconnected the call or at least put the call on hold. WARNING: This often causes wicked looks from the employees and definitely stirs the ones waiting behind you, so please, use this process at your own discretion.

     Today, I followed suit with the masses, wanting to create peace among fellow payees and to prevent the evil looks from the employees.  Passing my billing information behind the ceramic counter top to this overly anxious woman who appeared to be talking to herself, I watched as she punched some keys on a keyboard, printed out my receipt, handed me the change and not once, not one iota of a thank you, please come again, we appreciate your business, the sky is falling, NOTHING!

     *sigh*

     It felt as though I were a prisoner -- a part on a conveyor belt waiting to go to the next station to be manipulated and pushed on to the next.  I wonder if the world has noticed this or if it is just me? How can we be so caught up in our personal lives that we can't take the time to appreciate another human being? How can we change it? The fact is, only a select few do this. Of the 5 businesses I visited today, 3 were considerate, polite, well-mannered, and displayed a level of business and personal merit that made me feel welcome.  As for the other two, perhaps it was an important phone call that couldn't wait. Maybe it was something so dire that it had to be heard over my money. In any event, it is my mission to see exactly how many people do this on a regular basis. I will be visiting these businesses again next month to see if the same thing occurs... If it does, I may give them a dose of their own!!!

     Until Tomorrow,
     LaVonda

The Realization Train

After a great night with my husband and children, I settled into the thought of self-realization. I know I have the mentality to do anything I choose, (as long as it isn't immoral, illegal or unhealthy) and I have the tenacity and passion for meeting goals. I suppose you could say, I am unsure on how to put into action what I really want to do... because I want to do so much -- child/youth advocate, Crime Scene Investigator, Paralegal, CEO of my own Non-profit organization, teacher, mentor, companion, advice columnist... the list is never-ending! Where my thoughts ended was more than I had bargained for.

At 18, I thought I knew what I wanted -- I thought I wanted marriage and a family.  I dropped out of high school.  Two years later, to show for my actions, I had a child and a divorce under my belt. I wouldn't have changed a thing because my daughter continues to light up my life. At 21, I had life by the neck. I knew for certain that this time I truly wanted to settle down and start a family.  I ended up with a psychologically abusive partner and another child (less a second divorce). Something told me not to marry him and it's a good thing I listened.

In the following year, I knew I couldn't make choices for myself because I didn't trust myself any longer. I had already screwed up twice and was sure it was over - I was following in my beloved mother's self-destructive path; bars and night, sleeping all day, and spending NO time with my two beautiful children.

Long story short, I met the man of my dreams; a true man, with love in his heart and willing to give it all to me.  And I was afraid to love again.  But it's amazing what God will put before you in an attempt to make you wake up.   I'm no idiot... I thought long and hard before I said yes to his proposal -- and 8 years, 2 more kids, and a college education later, I sit down before the computer to put this story out there, hoping that it will encourage someone, anyone, not to settle for second best.  Not to allow a partner, either male or female, to take away your right to true love and happiness.

In the attempt to discover myself, I realized that I am taking on challenges that are greater than I am. But with patience, perseverance, and determination, I can win at life.  Not letting the little things get to me, and to take pride in anything I do. To acknowledge my actions and the consequences they make and to take responsibility for myself and for my family, and to grab life, once again, by the throat and hang on for one wild ride.

In closing, may this post enlighten you on who I am: that part of me I kept hidden, both from myself and the world for so long. May it open your mind and your eyes -- It's a healthy dose!

Warmest,
LaVonda

New Year... New Goal

     During the previous year, I have heard about blogging on a more popular level.  Also during that year, I was lost in translation, literally.  I had fallen into the never-ending pit of Facebook -- taming the Frontier(ville), cooking at CafeWorld, taking out the Mafia(Wars), being the mayor of Cityville and even running my own nightclub in NightCity... And I have NOTHING to show for it. If only those coins would go directly to my bank account the way they add up on the game; that would really be something to brag about. But they don't.

     So, I am now stretching my blogging legs, shouting to the world, I AM HERE! I AM NOT LOST!  For my first blog (yes Blogger, you got my cherry), I am posting my list of New Year's Resolutions, in hopes of self-motivation... Hell, it could be self-destruction, but in any event, if it's written down, it's 30 times more likely to be completed than just by saying it.

1.) Cherish those things which others take for granted.
2.) Spend quality time with my family and give true love in every laugh, tear, tantrum, and illness (of course, I really would like it if the latter one didn't visit this year)!
3.) To write a grant and have it approved for my own non-profit organization catering to children and young adults who are in or who have aged out of the system.
4.) Grow 5 inches or lose 85 lbs by this time next year (I'm not over-weight, I'm under-tall)

     So, in closing, may this year and this new decade find you at your best and may you never settle for the rest! Live, laugh, love, prosper and... get your Daily Dose!

     Until tomorrow,
     LaVonda